How many of you have looked at the women in your life and thought "how do they do it?". I know that I have done it more times then I can count. I have seen other moms at the grocery store with 4 children hanging off the cart and they are casually walking the isles filling their list meanwhile I am pushing my cart with only 1 child in it (I only had 1 at the time) and I feel like all my hair is standing on end and I am about to loose it if I don't find the last few items on my list and get out of the store. How do they do it? How do they maintain their composure with so many kids when I can barely handle my 1. Then I go to a moms morning out and I see all these moms dressed up so fashionably and their hair is just right, here I come in my "too short" jeans and a "nice" shirt that I have owned for 4 years and my hair up in a pony tail. How do these moms have the time to make themselves look so beautiful and get their kids all dressed up and cute as well. I drop into my chair feeling completely exhausted from frantically trying to get out the door to go to this event. How do they do it?
Since I was a young girl I always wanted to be that girl with perfect hair and an amazing figure. The only thing that I wanted to do differently from the girls that had this was to be kind to those that did not have those things (from my experiences the "pretty girls" were not usually nice to the "average" girls like me). I wanted to be beautiful physically so that the guys would like me the way they seemed to like the pretty girls. I also wanted to be friends with those girls who were pretty on the inside and that beauty shone through to their outward appearance. Those girls were truly beautiful.
My desire to be physically beautiful always won out over the inward beauty and I focused on that. So whenever I would see someone who was physically beautiful that is where I focused my attention. It became such a habit that I began to judge myself according to others. I was not good enough to be her friend because she was very fashionable in the way she dressed and I was still wearing my frumpy clothes that were handed down to me 3 years before. I was not as outgoing as that girl so she would not want to be my friend. She always has really nice hair and there is no way that I would be able to do half as good of job so I will steer clear of her. There were many times growing up that I was made fun of for the clothes I wore or the way I did my hair or the manner in which I would speak or take part of the conversation. Each time that I was made the laughing stock I took it as a direct rejection of me and who I was.
To me, how I looked and how I contributed to the conversation made up who I was.
Recently (within the last month) I have come to the realization that it is not how a person looks on the outside that determines what kind of person they are, it is what they look like on the inside. I do agree that we need to take care of ourselves because our bodies are the temple of God, but that does not mean that my entire focus needs to be on what I look like. My relationship with my Saviour is by far more important than any new fashion trend or latest hair style. I know that I do not need to wear make up, do my hair just right and wear the latest fashion trend in order to serve and praise my God. I can do that in my bathrobe with bed head as long as my heart is in that place of worship.
So ladies, if you see me in the grocery store or at a moms group and I look like I just threw on some clothes and put my hair up in a pony tail just know that it is not my outward appearance that I am working on, it is the inner beauty I know is in there somewhere that I am searching to find. I am not always graceful but I am working on that, I may not have the kind of patience I should have but God is teaching me day by day. I know that every day when I leave my house I am still going to feel the urge to judge myself and my situation because some how some where there is someone else out there that looks nicer than me and seems to have it all put together. It is in those moments that I need to run to my Father and seek his approval for how I look... on the inside.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
update
Ok so in a previous post I stated that I wished to cook better meals for my family so I thought I would give you a list of the foods I have made and how my family liked them.
1. Sausage Marinara with Ranch biscuits and peanut butter pie (biscuits were too salty but the rest was great)
2. Tarragon chicken bundles with campfire potatoes and strawberry pie (I enjoyed it but I was the only one)
3. Spinach lasagna roll ups and ceaser salad (HUGE HIT)
4. Cranberry pork chops, speedy spinach salad and pumpkin pie dessert (everything was good except for the dessert which, again, I was the only one who liked it)
5. BBQ onion meat loaves and glazed carrots (another favorite)
6. Pasta Meatball soup, herbed bread and lettuce salad (very good. My hubby is not a fan of soup so for him it was just ok)
7. Tortellini carbonara with peas and fruit medley (A-MAZING)
8. Orange chicken skillet, sunflower tossed salad and ice cream sandwiches (ok)
9. Hawaiian ham steaks, baby ranch potatoes and brownie for dessert (really good)
10. Curry chicken breasts, lemon pepper veggies and pumpkin cake (Hannah and I really enjoyed this meal)
11. Asparagus chicken stir fry, sweet potato pineapple bake and snowy cherry trifle (very good except for the sweet potato bake had too much pineapple for our tastes)
12. Beef stuffed shells, lettuce salad (very good)
I am now onto another list from a different cook book so once I have made all those meals I will post them as well. (just so you can keep me accountable) If any of these meals look like something you would like to make just message me for the recipe and I will send it to you.
1. Sausage Marinara with Ranch biscuits and peanut butter pie (biscuits were too salty but the rest was great)
2. Tarragon chicken bundles with campfire potatoes and strawberry pie (I enjoyed it but I was the only one)
3. Spinach lasagna roll ups and ceaser salad (HUGE HIT)
4. Cranberry pork chops, speedy spinach salad and pumpkin pie dessert (everything was good except for the dessert which, again, I was the only one who liked it)
5. BBQ onion meat loaves and glazed carrots (another favorite)
6. Pasta Meatball soup, herbed bread and lettuce salad (very good. My hubby is not a fan of soup so for him it was just ok)
7. Tortellini carbonara with peas and fruit medley (A-MAZING)
8. Orange chicken skillet, sunflower tossed salad and ice cream sandwiches (ok)
9. Hawaiian ham steaks, baby ranch potatoes and brownie for dessert (really good)
10. Curry chicken breasts, lemon pepper veggies and pumpkin cake (Hannah and I really enjoyed this meal)
11. Asparagus chicken stir fry, sweet potato pineapple bake and snowy cherry trifle (very good except for the sweet potato bake had too much pineapple for our tastes)
12. Beef stuffed shells, lettuce salad (very good)
I am now onto another list from a different cook book so once I have made all those meals I will post them as well. (just so you can keep me accountable) If any of these meals look like something you would like to make just message me for the recipe and I will send it to you.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Zoey's birth story!
I attend a moms group every Wednesday morning and whenever someone has a baby the leader asks that mom if she would like to share her birth story. When I was asked to share about Zoey's birth story I shared a simple version of what happened. I was afraid to share the whole thing because I did not want others to hear about the incredible disappointment I had felt and how I was trying to deal with it. Now before you start thinking that I was disappointed about having my baby, STOP THINKING and keep reading.
Over the months before Christmas I had been to a few Wednesday morning events and I had heard how some of these moms had prayed that God would bring their babies because they were uncomfortable and were not sure how they were going to keep up with their families if they did not have the baby. Some asked that God would spare their bottom and allow them to have their babies without tearing. It had never occurred to me to pray and ask for such a thing. I just thought that was part of the pain in child birth that the Bible describes. After hearing this I determined to start praying for the things that I wanted out of this pregnancy and for how I wanted the birth to go. Some of the things that I wanted were: to go in naturally without having to be induced, not to tear, no hemorrhoids, short labour, and that I could do it without drugs (less painful than with Hannah). As I prayed about these things and I kept hearing through other moms of how God had heard their prayers and given them them the child births that they asked for, I started to feel great hope. In my mind I was going to have this baby early and my water was going to break at home and then I would wait at home as long as possible then I would go in and deliver the baby in an hour or two. I was not going to tear and I was going to be able to push the baby out with some pain. I believed with all my heart that these things were going to happen and I had a peace about it. Then the due date came and went and no baby. My mind said "OK but it won't be long. Maybe a few days over". At one of the Wednesday meetings the speaker had been talking about hearing words from God. Just having something come to you again and again. She said that when something like that happens that we should not push it away but pay attention to what God might be telling us. I went home that day and spent the rest of the day praying that God would give me a word as to when this baby would be born. The one thing that kept coming up over and over again was Sunday. So I started to prepare for Sunday. When nothing happened that Sunday I thought (with great discouragement) "maybe next Sunday". I cried as I took my nap that day because I was so uncomfortable and I did not want to have to wait another week. When I went to my doctor appointment that week he told me that I had not progressed at all from the week before. I was extremely disappointed at this point. Was God not listening to me? Why was He putting me through this? Then I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I bought caster oil!
This was going to be the answer. I was going to drink this stuff and go into labor. A friend of mine had done this and it worked for her twice so it must surely work for me. IT DID NO WORK!!!! Let me tell you that if you are going to take this stuff and endure the explosion out your bottom end, you want to be SURE that you will have a baby at the end. The only thing that I ended up with were massive hemorrhoids and contractions every 5 minutes for 2 hours then every 2 minutes for 2 hours and then nothing. I cried I was so frustrated. I called my mom and cried to her and she tried to make me feel better but I was not willing to accept her help. When that Friday came along my parents were out so I decided to send Hannah with them for the weekend so that when I went into labor on Sunday we would not have to call someone in the middle of the night (cause these sort of things only ever happen in the middle of the night) to come sleep at our house.
Well that Sunday came and went and still no baby. At this point I did not feel like praying actually did any good. God obviously did not want to listen to me and I began to doubt that anything that I had been praying for was going to happen. I felt like giving up completely. We went to Austin to pick Hannah up in hopes that by driving an hour away from the hospital that the baby would come then but nothing happened. That Tuesday I had my appointment with the doctor. I was sure that something must have happened after that awful week but I had only gone up one centimeter. Again I called my mom crying. I was having cramps in my legs to the point of not being able to step down until the cramp went away. It was incredibly painful. I told mom how hopeless I felt and she told me to just hang in there, that God might have a different plan for me that what I wanted. I could not understand why He would want me to go through this very painful and unnecessary extension to my pregnancy. Well the doctor had told me that I would be induced on the Wednesday of that week so I got ready and called the hospital to see if they were ready for me only to be told that another lady took priority over me because she was 12 days over and I was only 10. I could understand that but I was sad never the less. They told me to call back on Thursday. I did that but there had been a large influx of babies born that week so they did not have any beds available for me. I was told to call again on Friday. Friday morning I called and they told me to come in, that I would be having a baby that day. We dropped Hannah off at Mike's parents place and checked me into the hospital. When I got up to the 4th floor I overheard two other women talking to the front desk nurses, telling them that they were supposed to be induced that day. I thought in my head "the lady who took priority over me went first. I will have priority today. They will not send me home." Sure enough I did take priority that day. I was taken in, hooked up to the iv's and the induction started. I spent the rest of that day on a clear fluid diet, walking around, bouncing on a ball, having a nap etc. I felt bad for Mike cause my pains were not bad enough to really need help and here he was bored sitting in a chair reading a magazine. At 1 pm my doctor came in and broke my water (which consisted of maybe a few table spoons of fluid) and still nothing happened. He came in again at 5 to check me again and to tell me that Dr. Helms would be on call that evening and would deliver my baby if I did not have it before 6. I had heard bad things about Dr. Helms so I started to get worried. Nothing happened. Around 6:45 that evening I started to get stronger pains and I started to feel dizzy and lightheaded. The nurses quickly got me into a bed and gave me the gas mask. The nurse checked me during one of my contractions and sure enough I was ready to have the baby. They called the doctor, when he checked me (not during a contraction) I was only 6 centimeters. He told the nurses that I was not quite ready but the nurse said that he should check me during a contraction. I went from 6 centimeters to 10 in the next contraction and the doctor confirmed that I was ready to push. It only took 10 minutes of pushing to get our beautiful baby girl. I was very thankful but still frustrated with God for not answering my prayers. As I thought about it some more I realized that He did answer a few of my prayers. I had asked for the labor to be shorter than with Hannah (30 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing) and I really only have strong pain for 40 minutes; I asked for a drug free delivery and I only had to use the gas (next time I will take the drugs). However I had 2nd degree tears and I had to be induced. I don't even want to talk about the hemorrhoid situation. When my mom came to see baby Zoey I quietly told her that God did not answer my prayers. She gave me a sad look but did not say anything. A few days later she called me to tell me what she had read in her devotions that morning. She told me that sometimes God does not make things easier for us because He wants us to experience how He walks beside us and helps us through the pain instead of taking it away. I had been so frustrated with God but when she told me this I knew that that is exactly what happened.
God wanted me to know that He was right there with me and that I could trust Him to take me through everything. Not to worry or be anxious because He would be with me.
That is a life lesson I hope to never forget. So remember this: when it feels like God is not giving you what you want or it feels like He is not listening to you... He is with you and will help you through. He is always with you and He will ALWAYS love you.
Be encouraged!!!
Over the months before Christmas I had been to a few Wednesday morning events and I had heard how some of these moms had prayed that God would bring their babies because they were uncomfortable and were not sure how they were going to keep up with their families if they did not have the baby. Some asked that God would spare their bottom and allow them to have their babies without tearing. It had never occurred to me to pray and ask for such a thing. I just thought that was part of the pain in child birth that the Bible describes. After hearing this I determined to start praying for the things that I wanted out of this pregnancy and for how I wanted the birth to go. Some of the things that I wanted were: to go in naturally without having to be induced, not to tear, no hemorrhoids, short labour, and that I could do it without drugs (less painful than with Hannah). As I prayed about these things and I kept hearing through other moms of how God had heard their prayers and given them them the child births that they asked for, I started to feel great hope. In my mind I was going to have this baby early and my water was going to break at home and then I would wait at home as long as possible then I would go in and deliver the baby in an hour or two. I was not going to tear and I was going to be able to push the baby out with some pain. I believed with all my heart that these things were going to happen and I had a peace about it. Then the due date came and went and no baby. My mind said "OK but it won't be long. Maybe a few days over". At one of the Wednesday meetings the speaker had been talking about hearing words from God. Just having something come to you again and again. She said that when something like that happens that we should not push it away but pay attention to what God might be telling us. I went home that day and spent the rest of the day praying that God would give me a word as to when this baby would be born. The one thing that kept coming up over and over again was Sunday. So I started to prepare for Sunday. When nothing happened that Sunday I thought (with great discouragement) "maybe next Sunday". I cried as I took my nap that day because I was so uncomfortable and I did not want to have to wait another week. When I went to my doctor appointment that week he told me that I had not progressed at all from the week before. I was extremely disappointed at this point. Was God not listening to me? Why was He putting me through this? Then I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I bought caster oil!
This was going to be the answer. I was going to drink this stuff and go into labor. A friend of mine had done this and it worked for her twice so it must surely work for me. IT DID NO WORK!!!! Let me tell you that if you are going to take this stuff and endure the explosion out your bottom end, you want to be SURE that you will have a baby at the end. The only thing that I ended up with were massive hemorrhoids and contractions every 5 minutes for 2 hours then every 2 minutes for 2 hours and then nothing. I cried I was so frustrated. I called my mom and cried to her and she tried to make me feel better but I was not willing to accept her help. When that Friday came along my parents were out so I decided to send Hannah with them for the weekend so that when I went into labor on Sunday we would not have to call someone in the middle of the night (cause these sort of things only ever happen in the middle of the night) to come sleep at our house.
Well that Sunday came and went and still no baby. At this point I did not feel like praying actually did any good. God obviously did not want to listen to me and I began to doubt that anything that I had been praying for was going to happen. I felt like giving up completely. We went to Austin to pick Hannah up in hopes that by driving an hour away from the hospital that the baby would come then but nothing happened. That Tuesday I had my appointment with the doctor. I was sure that something must have happened after that awful week but I had only gone up one centimeter. Again I called my mom crying. I was having cramps in my legs to the point of not being able to step down until the cramp went away. It was incredibly painful. I told mom how hopeless I felt and she told me to just hang in there, that God might have a different plan for me that what I wanted. I could not understand why He would want me to go through this very painful and unnecessary extension to my pregnancy. Well the doctor had told me that I would be induced on the Wednesday of that week so I got ready and called the hospital to see if they were ready for me only to be told that another lady took priority over me because she was 12 days over and I was only 10. I could understand that but I was sad never the less. They told me to call back on Thursday. I did that but there had been a large influx of babies born that week so they did not have any beds available for me. I was told to call again on Friday. Friday morning I called and they told me to come in, that I would be having a baby that day. We dropped Hannah off at Mike's parents place and checked me into the hospital. When I got up to the 4th floor I overheard two other women talking to the front desk nurses, telling them that they were supposed to be induced that day. I thought in my head "the lady who took priority over me went first. I will have priority today. They will not send me home." Sure enough I did take priority that day. I was taken in, hooked up to the iv's and the induction started. I spent the rest of that day on a clear fluid diet, walking around, bouncing on a ball, having a nap etc. I felt bad for Mike cause my pains were not bad enough to really need help and here he was bored sitting in a chair reading a magazine. At 1 pm my doctor came in and broke my water (which consisted of maybe a few table spoons of fluid) and still nothing happened. He came in again at 5 to check me again and to tell me that Dr. Helms would be on call that evening and would deliver my baby if I did not have it before 6. I had heard bad things about Dr. Helms so I started to get worried. Nothing happened. Around 6:45 that evening I started to get stronger pains and I started to feel dizzy and lightheaded. The nurses quickly got me into a bed and gave me the gas mask. The nurse checked me during one of my contractions and sure enough I was ready to have the baby. They called the doctor, when he checked me (not during a contraction) I was only 6 centimeters. He told the nurses that I was not quite ready but the nurse said that he should check me during a contraction. I went from 6 centimeters to 10 in the next contraction and the doctor confirmed that I was ready to push. It only took 10 minutes of pushing to get our beautiful baby girl. I was very thankful but still frustrated with God for not answering my prayers. As I thought about it some more I realized that He did answer a few of my prayers. I had asked for the labor to be shorter than with Hannah (30 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing) and I really only have strong pain for 40 minutes; I asked for a drug free delivery and I only had to use the gas (next time I will take the drugs). However I had 2nd degree tears and I had to be induced. I don't even want to talk about the hemorrhoid situation. When my mom came to see baby Zoey I quietly told her that God did not answer my prayers. She gave me a sad look but did not say anything. A few days later she called me to tell me what she had read in her devotions that morning. She told me that sometimes God does not make things easier for us because He wants us to experience how He walks beside us and helps us through the pain instead of taking it away. I had been so frustrated with God but when she told me this I knew that that is exactly what happened.
God wanted me to know that He was right there with me and that I could trust Him to take me through everything. Not to worry or be anxious because He would be with me.
That is a life lesson I hope to never forget. So remember this: when it feels like God is not giving you what you want or it feels like He is not listening to you... He is with you and will help you through. He is always with you and He will ALWAYS love you.
Be encouraged!!!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
What does God want from me?
For the last couple weeks I have been thinking about what God wants from me. In one of my moms groups we have been working on making mission statements for the roles that we have in our lives. This has really got me to thinking about what God wants from me in each role that I fill. The first thing we were supposed to do was make a list of all the roles that we fill and then prioritize in order of importance. My first thought is that my children come first then everything else because they are the ones that I spend the most time with. As I started to dig into the Bible more to find verses to put into my mission statement I realized that my priorities were not in line to what God wants. My first priority is supposed to be God. When I thought about that I realized just where I had placed God... on my to do list. I was reminded again today that I need to be spending more time in His word and in conversation with Him. When I am closer to my God then and only then can I be the wife and mother that I am meant to be.
I have been reading Paul's letters to the Corinthians and I feel as though I can relate to Paul in one of the ways he speaks of. He says that he is more bold in his letters and shy when speaking in public. It was easier for him to send a letter to the people he loved than to speak to them face to face. I feel the same way. There are so many times when I have things that I want to say but I am too afraid to speak them out loud. After I read that Paul had the same affliction (I don't know if he was afraid but I am) I asked if there was some way for me to speak what He has placed on my heart without actually having to speak in front of people. As I was sitting there thinking, this blog popped into my head. Yes, I could use this blog to write down what God has been doing in my life and what He has been teaching me. So what better way to start than by sharing with you all where I have come from.
I was born and raised in a Christian home. I have wonderful parents who taught me to love the Lord from when I was a young girl. As a child I was a people pleaser and I tried to do whatever it took to stay out of trouble. I did have my moments of disobedience and I know that I had my fair share of consequences (my sister may say other wise). I went to a Christian school all the way through to grade 12 and I do not regret that at all. When I was in high school I had the honor of praying with a very close friend of mine as he gave his life to Christ. At the time I did not understand fully the huge step he was taking I just knew that if he wanted to be in Heaven one day then that is what he needed to do. I was so excited for him and I will always remember that day. I felt as though my walk with God was so strong and that in everything I did I lived my life for him.
I graduated from high school and moved to Brandon to attend Brandon University. I was taking courses to become a teacher. As I met people and made new friends I realized that I had lived a privileged life. I did not know a lot of what was going on in the secular circles and a part of me felt as though I was better than others because of how I grew up. As the years went on God worked in me and gave me a desire to help others instead of judge them from my holier than thou platform but I had no idea of how to help them if I had not experienced what they had been through. I am sure you know how it feels to be told how to fix your problems by someone who has never been in your situation or who has no idea what they are actually talking about. That was me. I wanted to give advice and to help people but what could I actually say that would be of any encouragement at all. So one day I asked God to let me be more experienced with the world so that I would know how to help others. I had no idea what I was asking for and I was not ready for the answer. God began to allow me to go down paths that I would not have taken and allowed circumstances to come up in my life so that I would learn what it was He wanted me to learn.
At the age of 20 I started dating a guy. This was my first boyfriend ever and I was in love with the idea of having a boyfriend. We met at a funeral for a friend that I grew up with who was killed in a car accident. I was moved by how emotional this guy was and a part of me wanted to help him and make him feel happy again. As we started dating I knew that this was not really the kind of guy God wanted for me but he loved me. He spent every last minute trying to make me feel like the most treasured girl in the world. The only problem was that I was not attracted to him I was attracted to the idea of having a boyfriend. He was a nice guy (very redneck, sometimes to the point of being extremely ridiculous). I liked the attention. We dated for 4 months in which we got ourselves into situations that were not in any way God honoring. I broke up with him the day after Christmas (I know... what a nice person. Wait for the gifts to be shared and then take the loot and run). When I went back to University after the Christmas break my friends all told me that they knew he was not right for me. I was frustrated that no one had bothered to share their thoughts with me but thinking back now I know that I would not have listened anyway.
Life went back to normal after that. I got back into school work and finished up the year. I went home for the summer and worked. The next year I came back and life resumed. God allowed one situation after another to come into my life each with a teaching point attached to it, all I had to do was look for it. I remember sitting with my best friend at the time talking about the problems in our lives and being able to encourage each other. Helping each other through our different issues. One time we were sitting in her car talking, we had been there for a while deep in conversation when there was a knock at the window. A nice police officer just wanted to make sure we were OK and then told us to take our conversation somewhere else. God was really shaping my life in ways I would appreciate later on.
It was the fall of 2005 when I met Mike. We met at a basketball game (he was friends with my roommate and asked her if she would want to come so he would not have to go alone. She did not want to be there alone with him so she asked me to go too). I thought he liked her so I kept giving him types on how to ask her out and what kind of gifts he should buy her. Then on Nov.2, 2005 he asked me if I would want to go out on a date. He was a pretty funny guy so I thought "why not". Our first date was Nov. 4, 2005. He took me to Kirkaldyheights school and we sat on the play structure in sleeping bags eating tim bits, drinking hot chocolate and reading kids stories (because he knew I wanted to be a teacher and thought I would like this). It was a great date and even though he was harassed for it later by his friends I loved it. I knew that this was a guy I wanted to get to know better. We dated for two years during which God, again, brought situations into my life that caused me some momentary pain and heartache. I know now that they were teaching opportunities that I had asked for but at the time I just did not understand.
In Nov. 2006 Mike asked me to come on a trip with him and his family to New Zealand!!! I said yes, absolutely. On January 13, 2007 Mike proposed to me beside a man made river with lit up fountains in it. It was a random spot (not searched out before hand) and it was beautiful. I said yes and I am so glad that I did. 6 years and 2 children later I could not love this man anymore than I do today.
Over the next little while I will be sharing some specific instances in my life where God has helped me and taught me lessons I never thought I would need to learn but am so thankful that I have learned them.
Psalm 73:25-26
I have been reading Paul's letters to the Corinthians and I feel as though I can relate to Paul in one of the ways he speaks of. He says that he is more bold in his letters and shy when speaking in public. It was easier for him to send a letter to the people he loved than to speak to them face to face. I feel the same way. There are so many times when I have things that I want to say but I am too afraid to speak them out loud. After I read that Paul had the same affliction (I don't know if he was afraid but I am) I asked if there was some way for me to speak what He has placed on my heart without actually having to speak in front of people. As I was sitting there thinking, this blog popped into my head. Yes, I could use this blog to write down what God has been doing in my life and what He has been teaching me. So what better way to start than by sharing with you all where I have come from.
I was born and raised in a Christian home. I have wonderful parents who taught me to love the Lord from when I was a young girl. As a child I was a people pleaser and I tried to do whatever it took to stay out of trouble. I did have my moments of disobedience and I know that I had my fair share of consequences (my sister may say other wise). I went to a Christian school all the way through to grade 12 and I do not regret that at all. When I was in high school I had the honor of praying with a very close friend of mine as he gave his life to Christ. At the time I did not understand fully the huge step he was taking I just knew that if he wanted to be in Heaven one day then that is what he needed to do. I was so excited for him and I will always remember that day. I felt as though my walk with God was so strong and that in everything I did I lived my life for him.
I graduated from high school and moved to Brandon to attend Brandon University. I was taking courses to become a teacher. As I met people and made new friends I realized that I had lived a privileged life. I did not know a lot of what was going on in the secular circles and a part of me felt as though I was better than others because of how I grew up. As the years went on God worked in me and gave me a desire to help others instead of judge them from my holier than thou platform but I had no idea of how to help them if I had not experienced what they had been through. I am sure you know how it feels to be told how to fix your problems by someone who has never been in your situation or who has no idea what they are actually talking about. That was me. I wanted to give advice and to help people but what could I actually say that would be of any encouragement at all. So one day I asked God to let me be more experienced with the world so that I would know how to help others. I had no idea what I was asking for and I was not ready for the answer. God began to allow me to go down paths that I would not have taken and allowed circumstances to come up in my life so that I would learn what it was He wanted me to learn.
At the age of 20 I started dating a guy. This was my first boyfriend ever and I was in love with the idea of having a boyfriend. We met at a funeral for a friend that I grew up with who was killed in a car accident. I was moved by how emotional this guy was and a part of me wanted to help him and make him feel happy again. As we started dating I knew that this was not really the kind of guy God wanted for me but he loved me. He spent every last minute trying to make me feel like the most treasured girl in the world. The only problem was that I was not attracted to him I was attracted to the idea of having a boyfriend. He was a nice guy (very redneck, sometimes to the point of being extremely ridiculous). I liked the attention. We dated for 4 months in which we got ourselves into situations that were not in any way God honoring. I broke up with him the day after Christmas (I know... what a nice person. Wait for the gifts to be shared and then take the loot and run). When I went back to University after the Christmas break my friends all told me that they knew he was not right for me. I was frustrated that no one had bothered to share their thoughts with me but thinking back now I know that I would not have listened anyway.
Life went back to normal after that. I got back into school work and finished up the year. I went home for the summer and worked. The next year I came back and life resumed. God allowed one situation after another to come into my life each with a teaching point attached to it, all I had to do was look for it. I remember sitting with my best friend at the time talking about the problems in our lives and being able to encourage each other. Helping each other through our different issues. One time we were sitting in her car talking, we had been there for a while deep in conversation when there was a knock at the window. A nice police officer just wanted to make sure we were OK and then told us to take our conversation somewhere else. God was really shaping my life in ways I would appreciate later on.
It was the fall of 2005 when I met Mike. We met at a basketball game (he was friends with my roommate and asked her if she would want to come so he would not have to go alone. She did not want to be there alone with him so she asked me to go too). I thought he liked her so I kept giving him types on how to ask her out and what kind of gifts he should buy her. Then on Nov.2, 2005 he asked me if I would want to go out on a date. He was a pretty funny guy so I thought "why not". Our first date was Nov. 4, 2005. He took me to Kirkaldyheights school and we sat on the play structure in sleeping bags eating tim bits, drinking hot chocolate and reading kids stories (because he knew I wanted to be a teacher and thought I would like this). It was a great date and even though he was harassed for it later by his friends I loved it. I knew that this was a guy I wanted to get to know better. We dated for two years during which God, again, brought situations into my life that caused me some momentary pain and heartache. I know now that they were teaching opportunities that I had asked for but at the time I just did not understand.
In Nov. 2006 Mike asked me to come on a trip with him and his family to New Zealand!!! I said yes, absolutely. On January 13, 2007 Mike proposed to me beside a man made river with lit up fountains in it. It was a random spot (not searched out before hand) and it was beautiful. I said yes and I am so glad that I did. 6 years and 2 children later I could not love this man anymore than I do today.
Over the next little while I will be sharing some specific instances in my life where God has helped me and taught me lessons I never thought I would need to learn but am so thankful that I have learned them.
Psalm 73:25-26
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Fun, Family and long weekends
This last weekend we went to Winnipeg from Friday to Sunday. On Friday we picked up a new car. Mike bought a Ford Fusion Hybrid online and had it shipped to Winnipeg where we picked it up. It is a lot of fun to drive and the car is bigger and better than our last car ( there is a bigger back seat and the car has more options). We spent time at Ikea, went to Costco, shopped at Polo Park Mall and swam a lot in the pool at the hotel. We were blessed to have friends come and spend time with us at the hotel and then go for supper. I always feel a little funny when we spend time with our friends who also have children. I feel like we are all playing house, and then one of the children starts to cry and throw a fit and then I know that this is our reality. A reality that I love. I have two amazing and beautiful daughters that I love beyond words and a husband whom I love more today than I did the day we were married. On Sunday we watched Mike's sister Rebecca graduate with her Bachelor of Social Work. She worked so hard and was awarded with the Chancellors medal which means that she had the highest gpa of her entire class. Hannah was so happy for her auntie that while she was up getting her degree, the entire sanctuary was quiet, Hannah yelled "yay auntie Rebecca, yay auntie Rebecca". We were very proud of Rebecca and know that there are big things waiting for her out there.
After the grad we drove to Austin to celebrate my dads birthday with the rest of my family. All in all it was a great weekend. It was great to have a mini holiday but great to come home, sleep in our own beds and start getting back into routine.
We have been blessed with a daughter who has an incredible vocabulary and a very active imagination. I love how she makes up stories and scenarios of things going on beyond my site and how she comes up with things that are just so funny. Yesterday she was getting ready to go to a friends house for a play date. I told her to get some socks on so she went to her room and then returned to my room holding 1 sock. She says "mom, where is the other sock?" she looks down at her feet and says "I have 2 feet". She loves her baby sister and asks to play with her everyday. There is always a part of the day when Hannah wants Zoey to join her at a picnic or a party with the Stuffed animals in our house. When Hannah comes close to Zoey there are always big smiles so I know the love is reciprocated.
Tomorrow we go to get Zoey's two month needles and doctor checkup done. I am so nervous about this. As a second time mom I know what is coming and I don't want my baby to feel pain. On the other hand I want her to be protected from getting the full force of all the diseases that could attack her little body. I am praying that she will take it well and not have any adverse reaction to the immunizations.
Today is April 30th and it is snowing outside. The girls and I went to our moms group this morning at our church and when we got home Hannah said "I sure wish it was a nice spring day. I wish the snow would all be gone". I second that. I am thankful for the warmer weather that we have had and I am now looking forward to the nice weather I am sure is coming.
Our moms group at Church is working on making mission statements for our role in our family as well as for our homes. This is a topic that I have not thought that much about. I know that the role that I play here on earth is very important but to try to make a mission statement for it is a tough job. I have not gotten very far but I just know that this will be very helpful to set a standard in our home. I know that as the wife/mother/homemaker I set the tone in our home and up until this point I have not been doing a great job at it. There are a lot of dreams I have for my family and for my home so I think I need to really put effort into this so that God can start bringing about a change in our home/family. I am excited to see how this will turn out.
I don't have any of the pictures saved to my computer yet but when I do I will upload some to the blog.
After the grad we drove to Austin to celebrate my dads birthday with the rest of my family. All in all it was a great weekend. It was great to have a mini holiday but great to come home, sleep in our own beds and start getting back into routine.
We have been blessed with a daughter who has an incredible vocabulary and a very active imagination. I love how she makes up stories and scenarios of things going on beyond my site and how she comes up with things that are just so funny. Yesterday she was getting ready to go to a friends house for a play date. I told her to get some socks on so she went to her room and then returned to my room holding 1 sock. She says "mom, where is the other sock?" she looks down at her feet and says "I have 2 feet". She loves her baby sister and asks to play with her everyday. There is always a part of the day when Hannah wants Zoey to join her at a picnic or a party with the Stuffed animals in our house. When Hannah comes close to Zoey there are always big smiles so I know the love is reciprocated.
Tomorrow we go to get Zoey's two month needles and doctor checkup done. I am so nervous about this. As a second time mom I know what is coming and I don't want my baby to feel pain. On the other hand I want her to be protected from getting the full force of all the diseases that could attack her little body. I am praying that she will take it well and not have any adverse reaction to the immunizations.
Today is April 30th and it is snowing outside. The girls and I went to our moms group this morning at our church and when we got home Hannah said "I sure wish it was a nice spring day. I wish the snow would all be gone". I second that. I am thankful for the warmer weather that we have had and I am now looking forward to the nice weather I am sure is coming.
Our moms group at Church is working on making mission statements for our role in our family as well as for our homes. This is a topic that I have not thought that much about. I know that the role that I play here on earth is very important but to try to make a mission statement for it is a tough job. I have not gotten very far but I just know that this will be very helpful to set a standard in our home. I know that as the wife/mother/homemaker I set the tone in our home and up until this point I have not been doing a great job at it. There are a lot of dreams I have for my family and for my home so I think I need to really put effort into this so that God can start bringing about a change in our home/family. I am excited to see how this will turn out.
I don't have any of the pictures saved to my computer yet but when I do I will upload some to the blog.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Quick update
So this morning Hannah wanted to put a sticker up on her chore chart so I asked her what she would need to do and she said " make my bed" I replied "then go make your bed" she ran to her room and immediately she starts to cry and says "mom I can't do it I am just a little girl".
While I was cleaning up after supper Hannah says "mom, I am going to go downstairs to watch baseball." Me "ok" Hannah "I won't be here to keep Zoey company then" me "that's ok, I will be here" Hannah "ok". Always the caring big sister.
We got the stroller out this afternoon and went for a nice walk. It was wonderful to get out of the house as a family and enjoy the nice weather.
While I was cleaning up after supper Hannah says "mom, I am going to go downstairs to watch baseball." Me "ok" Hannah "I won't be here to keep Zoey company then" me "that's ok, I will be here" Hannah "ok". Always the caring big sister.
We got the stroller out this afternoon and went for a nice walk. It was wonderful to get out of the house as a family and enjoy the nice weather.
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