Zoey's birth story!

I attend a moms group every Wednesday morning and whenever someone has a baby the leader asks that mom if she would like to share her birth story. When I was asked to share about Zoey's birth story I shared a simple version of what happened. I was afraid to share the whole thing because I did not want others to hear about the incredible disappointment I had felt and how I was trying to deal with it. Now before you start thinking that I was disappointed about having my baby, STOP THINKING and keep reading.
Over the months before Christmas I had been to a few Wednesday morning events and I had heard how some of these moms had prayed that God would bring their babies because they were uncomfortable and were not sure how they were going to keep up with their families if they did not have the baby. Some asked that God would spare their bottom and allow them to have their babies without tearing. It had never occurred to me to pray and ask for such a thing. I just thought that was part of the pain in child birth that the Bible describes. After hearing this I determined to start praying for the things that I wanted out of this pregnancy and for how I wanted the birth to go. Some of the things that I wanted were: to go in naturally without having to be induced, not to tear, no hemorrhoids, short labour, and that I could do it without drugs (less painful than with Hannah). As I prayed about these things and I kept hearing through other moms of how God had heard their prayers and given them them the child births that they asked for, I started to feel great hope. In my mind I was going to have this baby early and my water was going to break at home and then I would wait at home as long as possible then I would go in and deliver the baby in an hour or two. I was not going to tear and I was going to be able to push the baby out with some pain. I believed with all my heart that these things were going to happen and I had a peace about it. Then the due date came and went and no baby. My mind said "OK but it won't be long. Maybe a few days over". At one of the Wednesday meetings the speaker had been talking about hearing words from God. Just having something come to you again and again. She said that when something like that happens that we should not push it away but pay attention to what God might be telling us. I went home that day and spent the rest of the day praying that God would give me a word as to when this baby would be born. The one thing that kept coming up over and over again was Sunday. So I started to prepare for Sunday. When nothing happened that Sunday I thought (with great discouragement) "maybe next Sunday". I cried as I took my nap that day because I was so uncomfortable and I did not want to have to wait another week. When I went to my doctor appointment that week he told me that I had not progressed at all from the week before. I was extremely disappointed at this point. Was God not listening to me? Why was He putting me through this? Then I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I bought caster oil!
This was going to be the answer. I was going to drink this stuff and go into labor. A friend of mine had done this and it worked for her twice so it must surely work for me. IT DID NO WORK!!!! Let me tell you that if you are going to take this stuff and endure the explosion out your bottom end, you want to be SURE that you will have a baby at the end. The only thing that I ended up with were massive hemorrhoids and contractions every 5 minutes for 2 hours then every 2 minutes for 2 hours and then nothing. I cried I was so frustrated. I called my mom and cried to her and she tried to make me feel better but I was not willing to accept her help. When that Friday came along my parents were out so I decided to send Hannah with them for the weekend so that when I went into labor on Sunday we would not have to call someone in the middle of the night (cause these sort of things only ever happen in the middle of the night) to come sleep at our house.
Well that Sunday came and went and still no baby. At this point I did not feel like praying actually did any good. God obviously did not want to listen to me and I began to doubt that anything that I had been praying for was going to happen. I felt like giving up completely. We went to Austin to pick Hannah up in hopes that by driving an hour away from the hospital that the baby would come then but nothing happened. That Tuesday I had my appointment with the doctor. I was sure that something must have happened after that awful week but I had only gone up one centimeter. Again I called my mom crying. I was having cramps in my legs to the point of not being able to step down until the cramp went away. It was incredibly painful. I told mom how hopeless I felt and she told me to just hang in there, that God might have a different plan for me that what I wanted. I could not understand why He would want me to go through this very painful and unnecessary extension to my pregnancy. Well the doctor had told me that I would be induced on the Wednesday of that week so I got ready and called the hospital to see if they were ready for me only to be told that another lady took priority over me because she was 12 days over and I was only 10. I could understand that but I was sad never the less. They told me to call back on Thursday. I did that but there had been a large influx of babies born that week so they did not have any beds available for me. I was told to call again on Friday. Friday morning I called and they told me to come in, that I would be having a baby that day. We dropped Hannah off at Mike's parents place and checked me into the hospital. When I got up to the 4th floor I overheard two other women talking to the front desk nurses, telling them that they were supposed to be induced that day. I thought in my head "the lady who took priority over me went first. I will have priority today. They will not send me home." Sure enough I did take priority that day. I was taken in, hooked up to the iv's and the induction started. I spent the rest of that day on a clear fluid diet, walking around, bouncing on a ball, having a nap etc. I felt bad for Mike cause my pains were not bad enough to really need help and here he was bored sitting in a chair reading a magazine. At 1 pm my doctor came in and broke my water (which consisted of maybe a few table spoons of fluid) and still nothing happened. He came in again at 5 to check me again and to tell me that Dr. Helms would be on call that evening and would deliver my baby if I did not have it before 6. I had heard bad things about Dr. Helms so I started to get worried. Nothing happened.  Around 6:45 that evening I started to get stronger pains and I started to feel dizzy and lightheaded. The nurses quickly got me into a bed and gave me the gas mask. The nurse checked me during one of my contractions and sure enough I was ready to have the baby. They called the doctor, when he checked me (not during a contraction) I was only 6 centimeters. He told the nurses that I was not quite ready but the nurse said that he should check me during a contraction. I went from 6 centimeters to 10 in the next contraction and the doctor confirmed that I was ready to push. It only took 10 minutes of pushing to get our beautiful baby girl. I was very thankful but still frustrated with God for not answering my prayers. As I thought about it some more I realized that He did answer a few of my prayers. I had asked for the labor to be shorter than with Hannah (30 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing) and I really only have strong pain for 40 minutes; I asked for a drug free delivery and I only had to use the gas (next time I will take the drugs). However I had 2nd degree tears and I had to be induced. I don't even want to talk about the hemorrhoid situation. When my mom came to see baby Zoey I quietly told her that God did not answer my prayers. She gave me a sad look but did not say anything. A few days later she called me to tell me what she had read in her devotions that morning. She told me that sometimes God does not make things easier for us because He wants us to experience how He walks beside us and helps us through the pain instead of taking it away. I had been so frustrated with God but when she told me this I knew that that is exactly what happened.
God wanted me to know that He was right there with me and that I could trust Him to take me through everything. Not to worry or be anxious because He would be with me.
That is a life lesson I hope to never forget. So remember this: when it feels like God is not giving you what you want or it feels like He is not listening to you... He is with you and will help you through. He is always with you and He will ALWAYS love you.
Be encouraged!!!